Yes, it’s time to add this article to this site. This article could also be entitled: “The Woman Question and Heterosexual dynamics.”
The reason this is here is because this website is about REALITY and REALISM. Not “Romance” or “The Way We Would Prefer Things To Be.” If you can’t handle political incorrectness, skip this article. Disclaimer, I’m sure I don’t have all of the answers. Also, there’s a lot of cool things I could add to this article but am choosing to leave out. Regardless, I hope I nail this subject pretty hard in this article, and hopefully this is the only article of its kind I’ll ever need to publish on this site. And should the topic ever come up in future articles, hopefully I can continually link those articles back to this article. The reason I don’t want to address this more than once is because this site is not a dating advice site.
In this post, we (ok, “I”) aim to condense everything you can learn from the “manosphere” into a concise article. Starting with the Wolf Pack Greek alphabet metaphor and working our way down to what is ultimate reality.
In terms of males, you might have heard about alpha, beta, delta, gamma, omega, and sigma. In modern Western society, we have the rise and rise of Sigma – aka “the lone wolf.” Alpha-maleness generally stops after high school and college. Which means the wolf pack ultimately dies off. Every male eventually aspires to be, and ultimately becomes something of a lone-wolf. Lone wolves did not always start as lone wolves. Typically they started as delta, gamma, omega, or beta. And occasionally a “retired alpha.”
For the purposes of brevity, we’ll subtract celebrity males. Rock stars, athletes, actors, politicians, etc. — these are not real people, and, these are actually useless people that ultimately don’t matter to anyone. What they are, are normal people that arrive in “unusual heterosexual circumstances.” Unusual heterosexual circumstances statistically qualify as “deviations from the mean.” They are interesting, but irrelevant.
With women and dating, what happens to men is an immediate confusion between expectation and reality. And the confusion usually continues throughout the rest of the man’s life. (Until you read this article!) The male mind continually believes he should be able to go out and date about 10 different women, pick the best one, live happily ever after, and that’s that. The reality is he “ends up” with some woman, and it will appear he ended up with her due to a lack of alternatives after failing pretty badly with other women. He will either be grateful, or this will rub him the wrong way as though God himself was being unfair to him.
What I posit to you, dear reader, is that this appearance of “lack of alternatives” is actually “the science.” There are factors men don’t see. Even when they are told about them, it is difficult to wrap their mind around them, so they still don’t see them.
The primary example of such a factor is “female solipsism.” The best way to understand what solipsism is, is it is kind of a self-centeredness. Women are biologically built this way. It is important to remember that women ARE their biology. It’s not a bad thing. The reason it is this way is for the purposes of procreation and the continuation of the human races and the human species. You could say God made it this way, or the Universe made it this way, or Darwin made it this way. But in any case it is the way it is.
You might familiarize yourself with BF Skinner and operant conditioning. By operant conditioning, we’re talking about “carrots and sticks.” What motivates women? What motivates men? Men are motivated by sex and food. Women are motivated by approval. And approval is ultimately related to procreation.
The female mind is really about systems of approvals. They design a life getting approvals from family, friends, acquaintances, and their entire social network. And whenever they feel they’re ready, they eventually desire approval from a specific man – and perhaps that man will be you. Maybe on a full moon and/or during ovulation – but it can happen at any time.
Ultimately, women choose men. (And this is very pronounced in Western society. Men attempting to choose women is borderline illegal, and therefore very dangerous – especially if you don’t have much experience with women. Not only that, there is no known bonafide success record of men choosing women that isn’t a deviation from the norm or a statistical outlier.) The main process only has a few steps.
1. A woman decides she’s ready, goes on the prowl, finds a man, and goes for “the attack.”
2. The man approves.
3. Within 24 hours to 2 weeks a “relationship” blossoms.
I know you’re curious, so I can tell you there’s different things men can do.
1. A man can “plant a seed” beforehand so when a woman decides she’s ready he might be the one she chooses to attack.
2. A man can disapprove or say no if he doesn’t like the girl who is selecting him. (Intuition is HUGE, and is worthy of a separate article.)
3. The most important thing is a man must ask himself ahead of time, “Am I ready?” Readiness cannot be faked. You either are, or you aren’t. If a man is not ready, he can take steps to get ready.
4. Another thing a man can do is ask, “With what girl would I undergo this pairbonding for?” and “With what girl would I NOT undergo this pairbonding for?” Lots of thought-experiments.
5. A man can also look at the world as sets of “dating marketplaces” and he can choose which markets he will participate in and which markets he will not participate in.
Things a man needs to NOT do.
1. DO NOT romantically fantasize about any woman. DO NOT “crush” or “pine” or give time to infatuations.
2. DO NOT orbit any woman.
3. DO NOT be friends with a woman like she’s a “dude.” Diminish friendships down to “acquaintanceships.”
What a man is ultimately not capable of is:
1. Choosing a precise woman.
2. Planning how anything will happen in the beginning of the experience.
3. Preventing his life from being dramatically changed. The woman will consume a significant portion of his time and energy. Recall the question: “With what girl would I undergo this pairbonding for?”
I want to stress that almost ALL men view their experiences with women as being based on LUCK. And what’s more (no, I don’t have statistics for this), MOST men view their experiences as strings of dumb luck, bad luck, or no luck at all – until they finally get good luck. And when they finally get good luck, good luck is synonymous with “monogamy, happily-ever-after, and not-having-to-worry-anymore.” If you are reading this article, you are doing so with at least a glimmer of hope and belief that you can change your luck into good luck. The proposition here is LUCK is the ultimate reality.
So those times when you are with a woman and find yourself dumbfounded, confused, or butthurt because it seems like you are with her simply due to your “lack of alternatives,” or that God himself has been amusing himself setting you up with shit-luck until he’s had enough fun — note that these are illusions. What is actually happening is somebody sold you a sack of lies and romantic notions about how the world works and you are finding yourself upset because you feel deprived of something you were told was one of your birthrights. Men are kind of told: “A good woman is available to every man, and if you don’t get one it’s because you’re actually kind of horrible and don’t deserve one.” The reality is this isn’t true. What is true is that you aren’t aware of the reality of how this all works. Nobody told you. And before you blame your Dad or your Uncles or your Grandfathers for depriving you of this valuable information, there’s a 90%+ chance they didn’t have the information, and there’s a 90%+ chance you wouldn’t have listened or understood had they been able to communicate it to you. But, at least you’re here now reading this article!
One of the principles of changing your luck into good luck, or improving your good luck into better luck — is knowing how the world works and accepting it. If you don’t know, then you’re at the mercy of the elements. If you know but don’t accept it, then you’re still at the mercy of the elements. So you have to both know, and accept.
To summarize. This all happens by you happening to be in the vicinity of a woman when she is ready, and she happens to choose you. If you’ve been struggling with “online dating,” note that being online physically removes you from being in the vicinity of a woman. You have to be there in person. Increasing your luck means arranging to be in places where the kind of women you are willing to approve of are suddenly becoming ready. Don’t forget, you also need to become ready. Are you ready? Only you can answer that.
Here we are almost at the end of this article and you might ask, “What about love?” That’s a great question. Considering that everything written above is not about love, it is best to assume that love takes time and is not immediate. I would argue that actual love comes 2 to 5 years after the blossoming of the relationship. That means the first couple of years you are swimming in biology. Should your relationship make it past 30 days, it is probably best to judge and monitor your relationship as whether or not you have “a good thing going.”
(Originally Published on: Apr 7, 2022 at 12:47)